It’s been 8 months since you arrived into my life baby girl…looking very un-newborn like with your wise, curious and contemplative gaze. I could not let another day pass without writing to you. As I type this draft on my phone with one hand, you are nestled beside me in the other. Let’s hear it for technology and multitasking. You’ve just had lunch and there are dried sweet potato bits stuck to the sides of your cheek. But I can’t chance wiping them away and possibly waking you up (you’re a light sleeper). Pick your battles. That’s what I’ve learnt after 8 months.
You’ve kept me quite busy, baby girl. Stay at home (for now) mommy hood isn’t a walk in the park. There were days, especially in the beginning, when I found myself more exhausted than if I’d been at work for 48 hours straight. There were more than a few moments of feeling utterly overwhelmed. But do not mistake my momentary grumbles for protest. You are worth every yawn, every sleepless night, every crick in my neck and every new grey hair. You are my everything.
I didn’t know what type of mother I’d be…and there’s still plenty of time before that determination is made but I definitely did not think I’d be so high strung. I find myself worrying about you constantly. Every time you utter a cry that can not be attributed to the usual suspects (hunger, a dirty diaper or sleepiness) or whenever you give me a strange look that I cannot interpret, I’m in mild panic. Are you OK? Is something wrong? Are you in pain of just constipated? Oh yes, the study of poop is a real thing when you’ve got a baby.
On those rare occasions when I’m alone in my thoughts, I contemplate the future and all the dangers, challenges and obstacles, whether they be physical, emotional or psychological, that this world may hold. And I worry. The urge and need to protect you is so strong that it’s not a feeling I could have ever imagined or understood before you came into my life. I know now that the intensity of what I feel can only be known by a parent. That being said, I am trying to be better about not worrying so much. Though, I have a feeling that’s much easier said than done and the worrying may actually become worse as your get older.
But I’m not just sitting here a nervous wreck all day. Not even close. I’m enjoying being a mother to you. I’m learning all of your adorable expressions and unique little noises (it’s even cute when you cry). I’m watching you learn, change and grow each day. You are amazing, baby girl. And I can’t wait for more.
As I’ve stopped doing monthly updates, here’s a summary of your monthly milestones and highlights so far:
One Month: We’re getting to know each other still, my bunny. You’re not doing a whole lot of moving but you sure are taking in your surroundings with keen interest.
Two months: You still cry a lot, baby girl, but we are starting to find our rhythm. Towards the end of the month you thrill us with your first real smile (the smiles a baby does in the first few weeks in their sleep or whenever are usual just gas or muscle reaction or so I”m told). It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
Three months: We’ve established our routine. You’re smiling in earnest now! And sleeping through the night! The other day you and daddy had a joyful giggling fit that mommy wasn’t able to capture on camera because she was elbow deep in food prep. Oh, man! You’ve also rolled from your back to your tummy for the first time. Best month ever!?
Four months: You got your Passport and travelled on an airplane for the first time! You did not cry at all and pretty much slept through both plane rides. Such a good girl! During the trip itself you were a trooper as we had some pretty long days. You love the Mall.
Five Months: You’re moving from side to side and rolling from your back to your tummy with ease but won’t really go the other way. And you absolutely hate tummy time!
Six Months: Guess who’s finally sitting up by themselves? Also toward the end of the month you got your first cold! It was so sad. Mommy got sick too. We had to bring you into the bed with us a few nights. And I’m not going to lie, Mommy loved it!
Seven Months: We started solids and it’s official – you love food! With the parents you have, was there any doubt? The evidence…
In other news, your bottom two teeth have arrived! I was so excited when I first spied that gleam of white as they pushed through the gums. One was followed quickly by the other. You also had you’re first professional photography shoot! Mommy and Daddy are anxiously awaiting the photos!
Eight Months: Mommy is trying to get you to crawl but you’re just not having it. I’ll admit we started to get a little concerned (especially as people love to tell parents what their child should or should not being doing at so and so time) but then we remember that you are uniquely you and will do it when you’re ready. Actually, you may go straight to walking as you love to be on your feet!
Until next time baby girl, Mama loves you. xo
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